Our Inner Knowing

Yesterday a coworker was sharing with me her experience of the death of her son (28 years old). He was in a bad car wreck and died soon after. He was the only one in the car who was severely injured. The part of her story that really stuck out was that he started telling her when he was 11 or 12 years of age he would be leaving this world early in a car wreck. He knew how he would die!

Many times we “know” things for ourselves, but how often do we really listen and pay attention?

I often sense events ahead of time and have gotten better at paying attention. The morning of my accident at work a few years ago, I dreaded going and wanted to call in sick. I’d never felt that way about this job before, so it was something that got my attention. I really felt a part of me pulling me back and trying to keep me from going. Another part of me kept me going, knowing it had to be done. I went anyway, telling myself the shift was going to be over soon.

We only had a little more to do when it happened, maybe 30 more minutes of work. That moment happened in an instant and spiraled me into a cycle of growth. A week later I was introduced to my partner and he was literally and figuratively my crutch during the ups and downs of this journey. I also committed to changing the course of my life and restructured my thoughts, beliefs, goals and dreams. I was snapped out of unhealthy patterns and began discovering a new way. More clarity and boundaries in relationships were established. New healthy friendships started forming.

Most prominent, I often found I could only be with myself and do nothing more. I sat in stillness and became acquainted with Me. I explored my depths and layers, the core of my Being. There were times I was so frustrated and pissed off and other times, I was confused and unsure and even happy. Then, the scales starting tipping to where more good times than not so good times came. Life was shifting to the direction I was desiring.

I had to go through the exploring and down to the nitty gritty of Me to discover who I really am. There were thoughts and beliefs I’d adopted from others that did not agree with what I wanted. I had to do a thorough look and determine what worked for me and what did not support me and my desires anymore, what needed to be let go and what needed to be embraced and nurtured.

I made a firm affirmation about the type of life I wanted and then I set out to do it. I read books to familiarize myself with new ways of thinking, I met new people who had more positive outlooks on life and I told myself my life was going to change. I refused to continue on the path I was on. New ways started appearing and I started seeing more options and opportunities. Doorways had opened that had not been visible. I had to let go of one way of being to open up to multiple ways of being and then–I had CHOICES.

Has this road been an easy one? No, not at all. The part of me resisting going to work that day knew it was going to be tough and dreaded it…wanted to stay safe. The other, stronger part of my Soul knew it had to be done and to trust and hang in there. Hindsight makes it easier to see how much we really do notice and of what we are truly aware. But hindsight only works after the fact. Today, listen to your inner wisdom. You know what you need and desire and the steps to get there. Tap into that part of you that knows and you’ll be directed.