June 4, 2020

Episode #8 : Create the Space for Evolving

How do we give our awakened children the space they need to grow and evolve? Listen in as I share this crucial step.

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"There’s no anxiety for the future. No regret for the past. Only this moment. This is where the power is. This is where change occurs."

- Valerie


  • Raising an awakened child is not always easy. There’s a challenge between the new and old way of being. 
  • Lessons will arrive frequently. It’s a time of growth and healing. 
  • Tune in to your inner guidance. Trust the unfolding. Take one step at a time. 
  • Prepare our children for their human role in their soul work. Create the space so they can evolve. 
  • Ego is easiest to recognize when you are triggered. 
  • Higher self is easiest recognized when you connect with the present moment. 
  • We want to shift the power from ego to our higher self. By doing this we end the cycle and create a supportive path for our children.

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Hello everyone! Welcome to Raising Chickadees. I’m your host, Valerie Herald Guerzon and in today’s episode we’re gonna talk about creating space for our Chickadees to evolve.

Choosing the journey of raising an awakened child is not always easy. It's a journey that can go against the norm. As with any change, there's most often a challenge between the new and the old way, especially when those around you don't understand what and why you're doing what you're doing.

Throughout the process of pregnancy, birth and after, I've had to be steadfast and honor the path I've chosen as others imposed their reality and beliefs on me. I found out very quickly how frequent the advice and criticisms would appear. I had to figure out what our path would be, what decisions we chose and stand firm in them. I had to really know me, be able to separate my higher self from ego and know my wounds and triggers or be able to identify them as they came up.

On this path you will be challenged. Your lessons will arrive, at times one after another. This is a time for a lot of growth, which comes with time for a lot of healing. I never anticipated the intensity, depth and frequency of change I would experience. It felt like one thing after another, taking a breath here and there. But then I did find a rhythm. I found my path of truth and that's my guide. A path that I only see what's right in front of me and my hope for the future. A path I trust even in uncertainty.

So how do we do this? In a culture that needs to know what to anticipate and expect and have security and safety? To have what we want right now? Know yourself. Tune in to your guidance. Trust the unfolding. One step at a time. Know that you can always course correct if you get off path. Know that you will make mistakes but you can always change.

Start with your end goal. What do you want the result to be in this process? I decided early on I would do everything I could to make sure my son's light was shining bright so he can do what he came here to do. I would teach him, guide him and help him get all the skills and foundation he needs for that. As a soul mom, I'm preparing him for his human role in his soul work. He has to learn the human component, which means I have to know it to show him. The reality is I won't have it perfect and he will learn from my imperfections. He will see something I do and choose to do it differently. And that's natural and expected. But I create the space for the evolving of his soul to occur. To support the development without hindering as best I can.

And that’s the main focus. That's our goal as parents and guardians. That's how we support their journeys. To start, do you know your ego and higher self? Are you able to distinguish between the two? Start that process of discovery. Firm it up. The easiest way to recognize the difference at first is noticing when ego appears and that's with a trigger. A trigger is an intense, quick reaction when we feel threatened.

Think of a time when you got really mad and lost control of yourself. That was ego fully threatened. When you search deeply, you discover what's hidden beneath that reaction, the source of the threat. As you feel that reaction, feel and identify the part of ego self.

Now your higher self is most easily recognized when you connect completely with the present moment. You can listen to a meditation I've created on my website. You can find some on YouTube. Eckhart Tolle has a lot of them that will guide you through. Sit quietly, let everything else go. Breathe and be here right now. With nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, there is only this moment and then the next becomes this moment and so on. There's no anxiety for the future, no regret for the past. Only this moment. This is where the power is. This is where change occurs. As you connect with it, you recognize the strength and power. The confidence and knowingness. The peace and calm. Love and joy. It is all there is. This is your higher self.

When you have a decision to make, this is the space from which to choose. Every possibility is an option and you can choose the best. You won't be choosing out of fear. You'll be choosing out of knowing. As you develop a relationship with this part of you, you will be able to choose with ease and quickly. You will have a built in radar. There's often a physical feeling that occurs to help us identify quickly when something challenges our higher self. When something is out of alignment with our truth. Mine shows up in my stomach. It shows up often with ego. Ego says, “Hey, I need you to love me or I'll be alone.” Higher self knows that isn't true so you will feel conflict. Search deeper and discover your truth really is I don't need love. I know pure love and I won't settle for less. Even by myself I am never alone. That’s an example of how you can go deeper into what ego says versus your higher self.

With ego there is often a judgment, a label, a should or have to. There's a forcing. It’s often related to being in control. It comes from your head. So if you're thinking about how you have to do something, how you can make it happen, that's ego. Fear, shame, guilt, anger....ego. Now we're not trying to eliminate ego. There is a time and place for ego. What we're doing is shifting power.

Most often ego has been running the show, making all the decisions and leading the way. It's been part of our survival as humans. And also because the soul has been snuffed out and hidden due to societal and cultural influences. Our focus is on shifting the power back to our higher self to guide and influence us and to lead the way. We are here for our souls to do a job so we want that connection to be the main one. When we do that, our perspective shifts, how we interact shifts. We see from a bigger picture perspective. Then we parent from our higher self and become the example for our Chickadees.

Instead of engaging in a power struggle with our children, we realize they are having a difficult time identifying their feelings. We're not feeling threatened so we see deeper into what's going on. Instead of forcing our teenagers to follow the path of our regrets, we allow them to explore what excites them. To uncover their own path. We open and allow the space for evolving. For them to fully step into their own with our support and encouragement.

We experienced our challenges growing up so we could overcome them to shift from ego toward the higher self. We ended the cycle so we could create this new supportive path for our children. And they knew we'd do this which is why they chose us to be their parents. It supports their journey and what they intended and need to experience for their own lessons. This unfolding is part of the plan. You listening to this episode is part of the plan.

The next steps are yours. Next becomes choice and what you do, what actions you take. There's always a transitional time to navigate as those around you adjust to your changing and that can be lonely and challenging. I encourage you to seek out help during this time so you stay focused while having support and encouragement along the way. It can be easy to slip into old ways to avoid a conflict or confrontation. This is the time to move forward and break through.

For those who are ready, I offer one-on-one support to help with this process. To help you connect with your higher self and make the shift in everyday life. I'm here to help you on the journey so you're not fumbling around on your own. Reach out if you'd like my support. I'd love to help. I know what it's like to feel alone in this process. I assure you you are not. We can do this together. If not with me, please find someone to help you move forward. This is your sign that a shift is needed.

Let's create the space for our Chickadees to evolve so they can do what they came here to do. Let's support and encourage their work.

Thank you so much for tuning in this week to Raising Chickadees. If you have any questions or would like to work with me, email val@valerieherald.com. Let me know what questions you'd like to hear answered on the show. What are you wondering about Raising your Chickadee? Let me know. Be sure to join us again next week for a new episode. I’m actually gonna include my meditation at the end of this podcast. I’m not going to talk afterwards so I’m gonna go ahead and close out now and that way you won’t be interrupted and you can stay in your space for as long as you would like to. Thanks for listening. Have a great week and join us again next week for a new episode.

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