June 11, 2020

Episode #9 : Time to Feel & Breathe

With everything going on in the world at this time, sometimes we need to pause. To feel and breathe. To show our Chickadees it’s OK to be human. It’s OK to hurt. And show them how to move through it.

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"I forget to go beyond human to my eternal being. It's this reminder that centers me and grounds me. It's this return that my chickadee sees. Remembering in all the humanness."

- Valerie

TOPICS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:

  • Our role as parents doesn’t stop just because we are going through challenging times. Sometimes we need to pause. 
  • We can show our children that we hurt and show them how to pick themselves back up. 
  • Acknowledge the real feelings, witness them, let them go. 
  • End the cycle of hanging on and allow the healing to occur. 
  • Move through the problems. 
  • Feel the freedom to just BE.
  • Energy seeks balance played out by our actions.
  • Try to release and shift to a new way of being. 
  • Be gentle with yourself.

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Tune in and listen to YOU. Who you are? What do you like? How do you feel? Start to learn YOUR language. Tune in to YOUR wisdom.

Hello everyone! Welcome to Raising Chickadees. I’m your host, Valerie Herald Guerzon, and in this episode I want to acknowledge all of the various emotions revealing themselves personally and collectively.

There is an abundance of anxiety, fear, frustration, hatred, shame, guilt, doubt, mistrust. Many of us have our own feelings and then feel the weight of the world as well. Add to that trying to raise chickadees. What is it like raising chickadees during times of stress? How can we keep a level head? How can we stay positive? How can we guide them when we’re struggling ourselves?

Ahhh sometimes we need a pause. A chance to catch our breath and remember. We. Are. Human. We feel. We laugh. We cry. We scream. We feel it all. And our children witness all of it and sometimes are the victims. They learn by watching. Apologize. Ask for forgiveness if you need to. Show them that we hurt at times. We’re learning and doing our best. At times we fall down to our knees. Show them how to pick themselves back up.

We have to acknowledge the real feelings. Not stuff them down and ignore them. Not try to shift to positive thoughts right away. But to feel them, witness them, see them and then let them go. Oftentimes we cling on to them much longer than needed. Often we dig deeper to wallow in it a bit, reading about, listening to it and immersing ourselves in the source of our pain. Often we take on other's hurts as our own. It's time to end that cycle. Allow the feelings to serve their purpose. To alert us to a healing needed within. And accept that healing. There's no need to apply the label. To take it on as a new role or a name tag. Hanging on to it is ego, grasping an identity. It's time to move past that. Elevate beyond that role. That’s the old way of being. And now we’re shifting into 5D living and we need to shift those old patterns as well. It's time to not get hung up on supposed problems and move through them instead.

Sit quietly for a moment and breathe. How often do you get a chance to breathe? How often do you get a moment for you? Breathe. In the previous episodes, we've spoken a lot about things to do. It's been a lot of action energy. In this episode I really want to explore feeling and being so we have that balance.

I don't want to talk about anything we need to change or do. I want to acknowledge the path and the journey we've been on. We’re here where we are right now. So breathe with me. Be. Right. Here. As you breathe allow yourself permission to feel what you've been feeling. Have you felt stress and pressure to be perfect? Have you been fighting to hide and protect? Have you felt nurtured and supported? Have you felt love and encouragement? Have you felt friction and challenge? Have you felt anger? What has been showing up for you? Allow it to be present at this time. Accept the feeling. It is ok.

One thing I've discovered being a mother is the range of emotions has increased and at times changes so quickly. I find myself not sure how to respond to my son afraid I will mess him up or scar him. And then he'll do something that triggers a spark of anger. And then I have a huge ball of guilt and shame. And then immense love seeking forgiveness. Then laughter and playfulness. It's amazing how quickly I cycle through such a range of emotions. I've learned not to fight it nor to hang on to it. I don't want to carry the guilt, the anger or doubt. I don't want to cling to the playfulness. I cycle through and allow each moment its own feeling, released for the next and the next.

What have you been feeling? Do you feel stress and tension? Are you relaxed? Are you dreaming of being somewhere you’re not? Are you content and at peace? Think about your day. How do you feel most of the time? If you were watching yourself on a TV screen, what would you observe about that character? What would you notice? What are the feelings that aren't being acknowledged? Breathe. Just observe them and allow them to be. Let them flow from one to the next. See how it shows up in your body. Where do you feel it most? Where are you carrying it? Just feel. Tune in. Any stories and thoughts popping up, let them pass on by. Allow them to be like water and keep flowing down the river. Breathe.

Who are you in this moment? What are you carrying with you? For this moment, set it all aside as best you can. The weight of expectations and shoulds. The to-dos. The desires. Breathe and be in this moment. Feel the freedom to just be.

One thing I've noticed over the years is that energy has to have a balance. Our energy will find a way to balance itself and that plays out in our actions. Our feelings alert us to what is going on. So as we tune in, we see the energy there. There will rarely be an equal and perfect balance. There will often be a little more of something. It's the extremes that we want to pay attention to.

One of the most common examples is with the action control. Any time there is extreme control it means there's an intense feeling of being out of control. When I catch myself telling my son no a lot or shutting down his exploration, I catch myself and check in to see why. Is there really a good reason why he shouldn't cover himself with dirt? Once I check in, the controlling energy melts away. It removes my ego and allows me to choose from a fresh perspective. If I don't do this check in, I'm at the whim and mercy of my ego. What's interesting is the reason I feel out of control doesn't have to be related at all to how I try to control. That's what makes the association difficult. We choose the easiest path, the path of least resistance. What or who is easiest to control? The food you eat. The clothes you wear. Your pets. Certain aspects of what your children want to do. It shows up somewhere.

If energy has to have a balance, does that mean if we have a lot of peace then we'll experience chaos to balance it out? It depends on what your normal is. What is your homeostasis? Think of a child's mobile and how it looks when balanced at its resting place. If you tip one side too far, the other parts have to make up for it to balance again. So if your normal includes a lot of peace, there will be no need for chaos to balance it out. It’s not extreme. If chaos is normal for you, there will not be much peace. It's an interesting phenomenon to watch in action, especially as we shift our normal to something better.

At this time there are big emotions playing out. Lots of energy moving and shifting. Be gentle with yourself while letting go. Allow the feelings to flow like water as they move through. Consider it a purging of many suppressed emotions stuffed down for decades, centuries and many lifetimes. Allow them all to cycle through. By giving them the moment of recognition, they have done their duty and now may leave. Grant them the permission to leave. We often think there's a lot of work that needs to be done to get rid of the darkness. What really occurs is the witnessing and releasing. Giving thanks for the wisdom and letting go.

One day I was experiencing a lot of anger. As an empath, probably not all mine. The weight and depth of the emotion was oppressive and dark. My tongue ready to lash out like a snake. I knew I had to find a way through this or I would create a lot of pain. I didn't realize it was anger at first. As I tuned in, I felt it bubbling from deep within. Anger from years and generations for all sorts of wrongdoings and injustices. I allowed it all to flow up as I sat quietly. Allowing its presence in a safe space. I asked my spiritual team for help releasing the energy so I could finally let it go. As it flowed through, I felt the intensity and pressure lessen and then came silence and stillness. A weightlessness. I continued to sit in the space. To be present with it. And after a bit of time passed I remembered, I am a part of God. I am light. I forget that. I forget my higher self at times. I forget to go beyond human to my eternal being. It's this reminder that centers me and grounds me. It's this return that my chickadee sees. Remembering in all the humanness.

At this time do the best you can. Reach out to me or find someone to help you shift through this. Be the example showing your chickadee how to release and shift. Try not to hold on any longer. It's time to shift to a new way of being.

It can be challenging at times. It can be frustrating at times. It can be uncertain at times as you have no idea how to move forward. But you can do this. And you will do this. And you don’t have to do it alone. So be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge what you’re experiencing at this moment. Show your children that it’s OK. It’s OK to not be on top of the world all the time. Show them how to move through this by acknowledging and honoring where you are and allow it to flow through you.

Thank you so much for tuning in today. I know this is a challenging time for many and we’re all feeling it in some form or fashion. And our role as parents never stops and sometimes it’s hard to balance the two. How do we take care of ourselves and be present for our children as well? How do we help them understand what we’re experiencing? This is the path we’re on right now. So be in it. Be present with it. Allow your children to see.

If you have any questions or you’d like to discuss this further, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Email me [email protected] I’d love to discuss this with you and help you move through it in any way that I can. If there’s any question that you have or anything you’d like to see discussed on Raising Chickadees, please send those questions to me so I can make sure that we address them and get those answered for you. I know it will help others as well.

If you’re feeling down and you’re feeling very discouraged, just take a look at our little ones and see the pure joy and playfulness and love coming from them. It’s just oozing out of them and it gives us hope for the future. Let’s embrace that and use that energy as a guide. Let’s look at what we can create. What we can multiply and expand in the world around us.

Thank you so much for tuning in today. I send each of you lots of love, lots of encouragement and lots of comfort as we move through these uncertain times. Be sure to join in next week for a new episode of Raising Chickadees.

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