We can’t live if we aren’t living where we are. And to live where we are, we have to stop obsessing over where we were.
 On this journey called life, we are many things. We are children, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, friends, teachers, cooks, doctors, etc. We develop many skills. We evolve. During this process we often don’t realize where we are headed. Let’s face it. Most of the time we don’t know how we are to show up in the world. What’s the plan for us? What is our purpose? Where was I (in the past)? Where am I?

It’s natural to look back. It lets us see where we were and where we’ve been–our growth (or not). We can identify patterns and lessons we may have today. It also helps us identify what we value and believe.

Life can be a journey that is horizontal, as in age, or horizontal and vertical, as in age and depth. One can go through life living the expected imposed life of school, 9-5 job, house, marriage, kids, retire and die unaware of life around them and not be mindful. Or one can go through life in age but add depths of exploration and growth, inner work and mindfulness. As you go to greater depths and lengths, perspective changes. What you viewed then may be different from what you view now.

I think about how many of us have looked back at our lives with regrets or wishing to go back to a certain time and having something or someone we have lost. There may be pain, disappointment, sense of failure, loss, etc. Many may prickle and curse me for even bringing it up. But they say the past is the past, who you were is not who you are, you didn’t know then what you know now.

Regret can be a tough one to tackle but consider where you were. At that time you did what you did, believed what you believed and said what you said where you were then. There is no reason to dwell on that now. This is your present self with greater knowledge and insight judging your younger self. Why do you feel the need to judge? There is no medal for having it all together. It’s like beating up and bullying your past self when that part should be loved. That part got you here today.

And whether this part sucks or not, you are here and it’s further than where you were, either horizontally or horizontally and vertically. So you have moved. Now, focus on where you are. How do you know where to go? Take a step and see how it feels. If you hate it, change direction; love it, keep going forward; indifferent, take another step and if still indifferent, take a step in another direction.

Life is about being alive and we are meant to be alive. We can’t live if we aren’t living where we are. And to live where we are, we have to stop obsessing over where we were.

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